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Please Understand

I'm Not Who I Am

Created on 2004-08-07 18:13:55 (#4103444), last updated 2007-08-28

705 comments received, 761 comments posted

115 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 1 Memory, 0 Virtual Gifts, 5 Userpics

Basic Info
Name:whoamitalkingto
Birthdate:1982-07-05
Location:Cleveland, Ohio, United States
Bio
My name is Ian McAllister. I live on a very lonely street on the Westside of Cleveland. The trees that line my street, open up at the end to show the skyline of the Terminal Tower. On nights where the Indians play, my sky lights up with the bright, white lights they use to illuminate the field. My "house" is two levels, but I spend most of my time on the second level. I don't feel secure on the lower level. I have a compulsion to lock any door behind me. I have a compulsion to wash the soap off after I use it. I bite my nails until they bleed, and than I cut the chewed skin away with a razor blade. I have a habit of punching my thighs when I'm angry until they are bruised the next day. I experience black outs. I have these black outs quite often, and I'm hoping keeping this journal will help me keep everything straight. As I write this, police sirens can be heard outside my window. I have a compulsion to go jogging when I hear the sirens. I have athsma. I smoke. I have a weak heart. I starve myself. I love scary movies. I black out during romantic movies. I have never had a long term girlfriend. Most of my girlfriends freak out on me by the third week and accuse me of beating them. I haven't touched one in a harmful way. I'm just your average twenty-something.

Re-touch- I have a long time girlfriend named Geena, who is currently in a custody battle with the child (which was a hardcore reason why I fell in love with this girl) I went off the beaten path and view life pessimistically, and this child sees the wonder in everything.

Re-Re-touch- Geena and I are on a break, and I haven't had an "episode" for a good long awhile.

I love talking about everything and anything and I shy away from nothing. Try me.
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Interests (103):

alone, anorexia, bangs, bars, baths, beach, blades, blood, blowjobs, books, brad pitt, brothers, brunettes, bulemia, camels, cameron diaz, cars, catholicism, cats, chapped lips, chuck palahniuk, church, cigarettes, cleveland, cocaine, college, comedy, commando, crickets, critics, curbs, cutter, davenports, dennis lehane, detectives, dogs, dolls, eating out, ethics, exercise, exs, fathers, fields, fights, fists, fucking, german shephards, grass, guilty pleasures, homicide, horror, ice cream, kissing, knives, knuckles, lips, literature, loneliness, maphia, maturity, mothers, movies, mpd, murder, necks, night, ocean, oral sex, passion, passionate, personality, pools, psadomachistic, psychologists, psychotherapy, rain, randomness, restaraunts, romantic, rottweilers, sadism, sand, schnauzers, scrapes, se7en, sex, shoulders, showers, sisters, sofas, sorority sisters, spousal abuse, strawberries, suicide, sweating, teddy bears, telemarketing, theatre, thunderstorms, water, watermelon, waves, wind

External Services:

LJ Talkwhoamitalkingto@livejournal.com
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Friends (100):

2vandi, ___dont___speak, __chaoticlove, _heartbroken__, _surround_, _x_sarula_x_, adamas, after_____glow, alyssium, amy_the_eskimo, anangryangel, audaciax, badcarissa, bella_peligrosa, belladonnastrap, belledoll, bidibodi_bidibu, blombro2006, blowjobqueen12, brilliant_eyes, christinarey, cocaine_tofu, como_se_dice, countertopsexy, crosseyedcat, cumdaughter, dear_old_times, denison216, dentellexxnoire, desirous_voice, dizigirl, dramatis_mea, dramatism, dream_by_night, drinky0upretty, eloquent_slut, elyzabethe, endlessness, eroticbutterfly, eyesofsidhe, faeryflesh, fragile__fuck, gina_b, gojenniego, hackneyed, hammeredshit, harvest, heidikat, hiding_sexually, his_cyn, his_little_slut, ilovethongs08, jillianann, kim_chi_lite, lick_my_twat, lovelessinct, lustslut, maliaka, mgabe, milomira, missmarrijane, misswetnjuicy, moowazz, ms_rocinate, needtobefucked, notaboos, ougambi, oxobrittoxo, pattiewebhoney, peenk_candy, purrceive, serioussinner, sex_slut_80, shadowstalker13, shellyswallows, shesleepsaround, six_oranges, smutprincess, snpdiva, spankingyou_, spro, stayhigh420, stormrogue, teachmeplz, thenatalie, tigerhollie, tonic2, try_and_stop_me, verybadlady, whore_bag, wikked_thoughts, worth_more, x_thanatopsis_x, xbeauty_screamx, xblownxkissesx, xdeviousdollyx, xslutty_tiffyx, xtoiletpigslutx, xxxteaserxxx, yummystuff

Mutual Friends (45):

___dont___speak, __chaoticlove, _x_sarula_x_, adamas, after_____glow, alyssium, audaciax, bidibodi_bidibu, brilliant_eyes, christinarey, cocaine_tofu, como_se_dice, dear_old_times, denison216, dentellexxnoire, dizigirl, dramatis_mea, dramatism, eloquent_slut, eroticbutterfly, eyesofsidhe, heidikat, his_little_slut, jillianann, lovelessinct, mgabe, moowazz, ms_rocinate, ougambi, peenk_candy, serioussinner, sex_slut_80, shadowstalker13, shellyswallows, six_oranges, snpdiva, spankingyou_, spro, stormrogue, thenatalie, tonic2, x_thanatopsis_x, xbeauty_screamx, xblownxkissesx, yummystuff

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trina3, twiggy90
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_shared_porn, angelinajolie, boys_suck, celebritease, cum_undone, depravity, ensuing_chaos, erotillectuals, ljsecret, mmmm_voyeur, msathenahollow, psychology

Member of (10):

4north, angelinajolie, boys_suck, cum_undone, depravity, ensuing_chaos, msathenahollow, psychology, selfharmhome, sextips
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